For the next few weeks Feelin' Sexy Friday will be encouraging personal thought and reflection regarding your sexual identity. Whether you are Mormon or Muslim, Baptist or Buddhist, we are all shaped and formed by the influences around us. Understanding these influences can help us to embrace who we are and to feel sexy. I will be sharing some questionnaires from The Hite Report, which I blogged about here, that will hopefully open a dialogue between you and your honey.
Image courtesy of Kupberg Photography
This portion of the questionnaire is taken from pages 497-499 of The Hite Report.
GROWING UP FEMALE
1. Growing up, were you close to your parents? Your mother? Father? What did you like most and least about them? Did you parents love you? In what way? What did you think of them?
2. What was your relationship with your mother like? Were you close? What is/was she like? What do you think of her? Do/did you like to spend time with her? Were you physically close growing up? Was she affectionate?
3. Were you close to your father? In what way? Was he affectionate? Did he talk to you? Do/did you like him? Fear him? Respect him?
4. What did you learn from your father was the proper attitude toward your mother? What did you learn from your mother was the proper attitude toward your father? Were they affectionate in front of you?631 The Hite Report
5. Were there ways in which your mother showed you how to be “feminine” – how to act like a girl or a “lady”? Did you and your mother do things your brothers (if any) were not expected (or invited) to do?
6. Were you ever a tomboy? What was it like?
7. Do you remember being warned against becoming a “tomboy,” or doing too many “boyish” activities, not acting “ladylike” enough? Can you remember any specific incident?
8. Did your father tell you to be a “good girl”? Your mother? What did they mean?
9. What kinds of things/behavior did your father give you approval for? Your mother?
10. Did you have a pet as a child?
11. Was there great pressure to conform be like the other girls– in grade school or high school? To dress like the other girls? Be popular?
12. Were you ever refused admission to a club or sorority you wanted to join? How did you feel about it? Did you like high school? What did you like and dislike about it?
13. Did you masturbate as a child? How old were you? Did your parents know?
14. Did your parents discuss menstruation with you? Your mother? Your father? Were you prepared for it when it started?
15. Was there an age at which you began to want to, or to feel pressured to, date boys? How old were you? How did you feel about this?
16. What was your mother’s attitude when you. Started dating? Your father’s? How did you feel? Did you discuss with your parents what happened when you went out on dates?
17. When was the first time you said, “I love you”? Held hands with someone? Kissed? Made out?
18. What was this early relationship like? Did it last long? Was it close or distant? Was it pleasurable or not? Did you tell your friends about it? How did it end?
19. Was it difficult leaving home? Declaring your independence?
20. Were you happiest as a child, a teenager, or are you happiest now?
Did these questions help you discover yourself? Or maybe clarify your actions and thoughts? Did you have an aha moment?