6.10.2010

I Do?

In the United States, about 50% percent of first marriages, and 60% of second marriages, end in divorce. Yuck. Really? If you're unhappy in marriage, is divorce really the answer? Sometimes, yes. But how did things get that bad? How do you avoid the "that bad"? How do you avoid divorce? You work on it. Always.

Most people don't wake up one morning after years of blissful marriage and decide to get a divorce.

Are you happily married? Could you be happier? Don't wait around for "that bad." Don't just exist together. Let him in. Trust him. If you want a love as great as Jim and Pam's, then mimic their humor, mirror their kindness. Make your marriage awesome now, girls.

{via}

Edit: While we wish and hope for staying married, there are legitimate reasons for leaving. Please, oh please, if you are in an abusive marriage or relationship, get out. Seek help. No woman ever should tolerate abuse. You are far too precious. Go here for more information.

23 comments:

  1. I am happily married and we've been married two years. I don't understand divorce but I guess some people think it's the only way.

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  2. At the end of this month, we will celebrate 8 years of marriage (in Sept, we will have been together 12 years). Notice how I don't say "8 years of wedded bliss"?
    Here's why: Marriage isn't always easy. Marriage isn't always perfect. In only 8 years, we have had our struggles. But, 8 years ago we said a vow. And we said before we got married "Divorce is not an option". No matter how bad things got, we knew that we still only wanted eachother. So, we worked through the hardships, instead of taking 'the easy way out'.
    And do you know what? It's been so worth it!
    (And also, I hardley believe that divorce would be an easy route).
    I know that in our lifetime together, we will see more struggles. But I also know, that together we will get through the struggles. That's what our love can do <3

    (BTW Gwen, your blog is absolutely one of my faves!!)

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  3. ouch... those statistics are a little scary. Here is my opinion on divorce. There are very few reasons for a divorce. My dad calls them the three A's (adultery, abuse, and addiction) Other then that, it kills me when I hear people say, "oh well fell out of love" and all the other stupid reasons. If you can fall in love once, you can fall in love again. Marriage isn't a walk in the park, &I think that most people just don't want to work for it when it gets a little rough. So yes, we should all be trying everyday to make our marriage the best it can be and not let it get to that "bad" point. But if it does get to that bad point... it is a choice to decide to sit down and make it work. People just don't view marriage as important these days, they think they can go on to the next one if the first one doesn't work out. If people went into a marriage with the right thoughts about it, &were willing to work on it... there would be much much less divorce.

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  4. Preach it girl! People use divorce as the "way out" these days, when really NOTHING is "that bad" they just think they can be happier...and it makes me so sad!

    MARRIAGE IS AN AMAZING GIFT FROM GOD! CHERISH YOUR SPOUSE!!!!

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  5. Wow sad atats. Love your blog, just 'found' you! :)

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  6. So true..yet so sad.. I agree with everyone you don't just wake up and get divorce you stick with it and work on it.

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  7. We know a couple our parents age who were recently divorced- it didn't sit well with anyone that has heard about it. They have some kids married, some kids graduating, some kids still at home. He wanted to work on things, go to counseling, still loves her as much as he did at 19 when they made their vows. She was just done. I've never understood how you can be "just done" when there are so many other people involved. What a scary thing to think about.

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  8. What a lovely post and a perfect example (Jim and Pam)! Too often, we women are encouraged to stand up for ourselves and be independent (and we should, we should) but it's almost like we turn into brats. We become mean and bossy. What a life! I want to be sweet and sexy and loving and fun. I want my husband to want me like I want him. I want a good marriage. Love your blog!

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  9. Wow, girls. Thank you for all of your wonderful comments. You are all spot on.

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  10. great post! love the photograph! eee!

    www.meg-land.blogspot.com

    xx

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  11. Great advice. I couldn't agree with you more.

    P.S. I'm a new follower, and so far, I'm really loving your blog. :-)

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  12. I do think a lot of people take the easy way out (even though divorce is not easy) of marriage. There should be a lot of effort put into saving your marriage before you consider divorce. Counseling, date nights, whatever it takes!

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  13. I am happily married and cannot imagine life apart from him, but it took one failed marriage to enable me to grow up, prioritize and see the traits I truly wanted in a Spouse. I was painfully immature prior to my first marriage, and after much infidelity on his part, failed counseling, failed attempts, the marriage just dissolved. There was nothing to save. I don't agree with the opinion that marriage is hard work. It shouldn't be too hard. There will always be tough roads you travel together, but too much "hard work" signals a problem.

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  14. This is terrifying, but me and my fiance have been good about the realization of it all. We try really hard to not be one of those couples who say, "oh that would NEVER happen to me." In my opinion, those are the ones who it usually happens to. Marriage is hard work and the closer I get to tying the knot, the more I realize it. It nothing ever came out successful without a little hard work! :)

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  15. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is a life commitment. And it's not always rainbows and kittens. It's a work in progress. Great post.

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  16. thank you sooooo much for finding my blog b/c it led me to finding yours! wow, your blog is so refreshing! i already know you are going to be one of my favorite blogs!

    what an absolutely amazing post! i love it and you are so dead on! :) looking forward to reading all the things you write!

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  17. perfect.
    your blog is fabulous.

    pilkys.blogspot.com

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  18. Awesome post!

    And I just wanted to say, that guy in that picture is my best friend Sterling!

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  19. Lauren, how funny! Small world.

    You girls are all so sweet. Thanks for all of the love :)

    xoxo,
    Gwen

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  20. Are there more images of that couple at the top about to kiss? I really like the way they did her hair. Just wondering if there were more pics? Im getting married next year and really like the way they did her hair
    Thanks=)

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  21. What is going on with Al and Tipper Gore? 40 years and now you need to get divorced? Really?!

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