Sex Stoppers -- Birthing Babies

Sex Stopper: Birthing Babies. Let me begin by saying I love babies. I love them so much that I have made some. But if you have ever been around children you can probably imagine that they have the power to put a screeching halt to your sex life. Not only do they cry a lot and demand all of your attention, they also do quite a number on your body. Saggy boobs, for instance, are one of my favorite side effects of motherhood.

How ironic is it that to become a mother we have to mutilate our pretty little sexy spot as we push a watermelon through a silly straw? The resulting deformities have a way of zapping the Marilyn right out of you. And if the looks of things aren't enough, think of the shifting and settling that occurs. Your reproductive organs are like a melting iceberg. But we happily do it for those ten little fingers and toes.

P.S. Why doesn't anyone write about this in the pregnancy books? "You're baby will eat every three hours, spit up a lot, and -- oh yeah-- your pretty little vagina is going to look like Freddy Krueger got a hold of it. Okay, maybe not that bad.

Heather said...

Here's a question, I just had our second child 2 months ago, and now everything feels very different down there. Orgasm is difficult again, and it's as if my clitoris has moved or feels different (I don't know how else to say it!) Any thoughts? My husband is patient but mornings like this when I know the kids will be up at 8:00 and I've given us plenty of time to enjoy ourselves but then nothing happens for me are VERY frustrating to me!

JUNE 23, 2010 1:13 PM

Solution: First of all, be kind to yourself. You just created a human!! Give your body time to heal. Give your psyche time to heal. It's natural to be a bit leery of a big, handsome, aroused man after the trauma that is childbirth -- it might hurt! Don't panic. You will heal.

Your pelvic floor muscle becomes very week and damaged during delivery. Many problems can occur from this; greater difficulty achieving orgasm, hypoactive sexual desire, decreased sensation, and incontinence. Here is an example taken from a study called Sexual and Relationship Therapy performed by the University of Central Lancashire, Preston, UK. Susan and Peter had recently given birth to their third child and Susan was experiencing a hypoactive sexual desire.

"During the third pregnancy she began to leak urine, occasionally when she walked, but more frequently when lifting her children and heavy objects. She also found that she leaked urine when she experienced orgasm, both when having sex with Peter and on masturbation. She was embarrassed by wetting the bed. At first she tried to hold back her orgasm during sexual intercourse but this did not always stop the leakage which then occurred during penile thrusting. Her embarrassment lead her to withdraw from sex with Peter although she continued to have the desire to make love with him. She also reported that her orgasms during masturbation on her own and on the rare occasions when she had intercourse were less intense and pleasurable than they were before her last [birth]."

The suggested treatment was to use a product like Lelo's Luna Beads. I blogged about them here. Luna Beads give your pelvic floor muscle the most luxurious workout of your life. You won't even break a sweat :) I think every girl should own Luna Beads, babies or no. The strength developed in your PC muscle will knock his and her socks off.


  1. How do you address the fact that our "pretty little vagina is going to LOOKS like Freddy Krueger got a hold of it."?
    By that, I mean, the mental part of it. How are we supposed to get past the fact that things down there are actually going to look kinda different, even after they heal? I'm sure I'm not the only one who's felt self concious about that with my husband in the past. We've had two babies, and I've noticed changes both times... it kinda plays a number on your feelings of attractivness...

  2. Oh my.. we want to start a family, and I will take the mutilated lady bits for a healthy little one.. but.. I might become one of those ladies that gets a 'designer vagina' if things get really bad.. haha.

  3. Oh wow! That sort of scares me! Lol. Good blogging, though!!!!
    Xoxo, Olya:)

  4. This feels like the story of my life...I've had two kids and my sex drive is and was after my first non existent basically!

  5. After my baby was born, it was actually easier for me to orgasm. I'm not sure what it was that made it possible, but I have that exact opposite problem. Although the pregnancy kinda took the sexiness out of me. Thank you for this post!

  6. Thanks for answering my post!!! After my first, things went back to normal down there, but sex was painful for a while. After this one, my recovery was great with very little pain, and sex hasn't been one bit painful (and we didn't even wait the full six weeks this time), but apparently things changed more down there than I realized. AAaahhh!!! I have some Luna beads on order, so hopefully that will help! I can totally relate to the fear of peeing during orgasm right now, and while things are getting better, I think I need to exercise those muscles a little more! And maybe next time I'll plan for even more time for sex (now how do I do that with 2 kids around?)!

  7. I don't have children so I haven't experienced any of this yet...but with 4 prego friends this has been the topic of MANY conversations as of late. The fact that I will be in pain in my southern regions is the most difficult for me to think of when it comes to getting back in action. Oh goodness...

  8. Hey! I awarded you A Blog with Substance Award! check it out at my blog! Enjoy!!!!
    XOXO, Olya

  9. ok so i am in LOVE with your blog.
    so glad you became a follower (i'm one on yours now too)

    as i anticipate the birth of my first child, clearly there is some anxiety there.

    i have confidence that our body's were MADE for this... so thankfully i'll endure it for the little muffin doodle, but am looking fwd to getting my body back too!




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