Church going girls often "save” themselves for marriage. (I wrote about why I admire this trait here.) I recently read a study done in January 2010 by the Universities of Florida and Wisconsin called Religiosity and the Sexuality of Women: Sexual Behavior and Sexual Satisfaction Revisited. In the group of women studied, the average age of women to first have intercourse who attended church on a weekly basis was 20 years. In contrast, the average age of women who did not attend church was 18.3 years. If your sexual and marital goals are similar to mine, this makes a compelling argument for church attendance.
Hooray for church-going girls! But why do most church-going girls want to wait? What is the end goal? Why does God want us to wait?
I believe it is because He wants us to be closer to our husbands and more fully enjoy the benefits of love and sex. He wants to maximize our sexual freedom and pleasure and not limit us.
It seems we easily forget this and become frigid “good girls” who hang onto the notion that we must wait for sex. Breath my married BFF’s, the wait is over. You’re married now. Having sexual thoughts and feelings is being a good girl. Sex is one of the most powerful tools to improve your relationship, to bond it, and to share yourself exclusively with your husband. God-fearing women should know this. However, the study mentioned above concluded that non-church goers are more satisfied with their sex lives. Marital sexual satisfaction for non-church goers is 5.13 out of 6. Marital sexual satisfaction for church goers is 4.77. It seems to me that we are missing the point.
Are you sexually and emotionally satisfied in your marriage? Wouldn’t you like to be more than merely satisfied? How do you reach Aphrodite status?
Read and learn about it in a comfortable environment, open dialogue with your hubby, and then, my favorite -- practice!
Boyfriend and I wanted to wait until we were married before there was any hanky panky -- one of the reasons I believe we were so compatible.
My reasons for waiting:
1. Babies. I wanted to know each other as husband and wife before we knew each other as mamma and pop.
2. Bonding. In waiting to share that bond, we showed each other dedication.
3. Patience. If waiting for sex doesn’t make you a more patient person, I don’t know what will.
4. The Wedding Night. What good is the wedding night if you’ve already sealed the deal?
5. I just might be a little bit of a tease and it was fun to make him squirm.
I reluctantly opened the door to meet my blind date when it happened. Fireworks exploded on the horizon, Michael Bublé came strutting across the lawn for a private serenade, and I fell flat on the floor in love at first sight. By the time our entrées came I knew I wanted to spend forever with him, and by the end of the movie I wanted to make his baby — right then. I am not that kind of girl, but he made me wish I was. He kissed me like he knew what I looked like naked. He was a man in every sense of the word: handsome, charming, athletic, employed. We were wild about each other. Our life goals fit together as perfectly as our hands. He would provide and fix things and I would cook and raise babies. Together we’d put the rad in traditional and I would be the perfect wife.
My name is Gwen, and I am in love.
Photo courtesy of Lane Dittoe