When He's in the Mood and You Aren't

When asked to write this blog post for Gwen in Love, I was excited and a little terrified. I am well versed in the “in’s and out’s” of sex, but writing about it so publicly is a whole new thing for me. My husband and I have been married for over 3 years and in that time we have had a child and have another on the way. Needless to say, I’m not always “in the mood” when he is. So that is why we have BOTH discovered a great love for hand jobs.

I know many women don’t enjoy giving these and many more feel uncomfortable while doing it. So here are a few tips I have to make your experience and his, a little more enjoyable.

  • Remember, this time is as much about you as it is about him. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. Once I realized this, it made it so much better. You aren't just giving him his jollies so he will roll over and go to bed.
  • You are totally in control. You can make this experience as long or as short as you want. YOU are the one that gets to decide.
  • Go in with a good attitude. If you begrudgingly start rubbing your husband, he feels that, in more than one way. It will take it longer for him to enjoy his time, and chances are will just make you bitter.
  • Take the time to feel sexy beforehand.  Put on some lingerie, roll on pheromone enhancer and do your makeup. The better you feel going in, the better he will feel.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff! 
What is it that some women do that make their husbands beg for more?

  • As my husband says, “If you aren’t using 2 hands, you are doing it wrong.” I assure you, your husband has more than enough down there to keep both your hands incredibly busy.
  • Mix it up. Don’t do one thing for too long. That can get boring (and sometimes painful.)
  • Play with his balls. Push them up, pull them down (not too hard) just make sure he knows that you know they are there.
  • Treat it almost as a massage. Rub his legs, and every surrounding area. Push his balls up while you massage him. There is also a spot beneath his balls that is hard and VERY sensitive. Rub that as well.
  • Penis tips? Don’t switch your hands up too much or too little. Find the balance your mate likes, and stick with it. Of course there is the normal hand hold, somewhat similar to a man holding a remote. Maybe try using both hands on his penis and moving them up and down at different times. (A similar motion as you would have to milking a cow. Sorry for the visual.) Also you could use both hands wrapped around him traditionally at a time. Covers more area. Don’t put him at a bad angle. That just makes him hurt. Don’t focus just on the tip, that can get painful!
  • Lube, lube, lube, lube, lube! (H20 is great for hand jobs. Not sticky, water based and washed off easily.)
  • Let your hands wander. One hand on his unmentionable while another is on his penis
  • Let your eyes show him how into things you are.
  • Sitting between his legs when he is laying down really does seem to be the easiest for me to perform this pleasure
  • At the very end when you know he’s about to…ya know, pull both his balls down. Big crowd pleaser.
  • Afterwards don’t just dash off to wash up. Linger for a second. Let your hands stay where they are for about 10 seconds. It lets him know you enjoyed your time with him.
  • If you want to throw in some toys or you're feeling a bit lazy, invest in a Masturbation Sleeve and surprise him with it. He'll love the added sensation.

I hope I was able to give you some good tips. It’s harder to talk someone through these things than I knew! Above all, enjoy it. Pick a time when you are relaxed and maybe offer to do that for him. It’s not the same when a guy has to ask for it all the time. And as anything else in this world, practice makes perfect!


Sex Stopper: The Neighbors Downstairs

Remember this post about the awkwardness of downstairs neighbors?

Husband and I recently moved and no longer have upstairs or downstairs neighbors. Oh. My. Gosh. It is SO freeing!

I never realized how much I worried about being too loud or good timing of sex until having the freedom we have here. It's wonderful. I used to worry about not having sex too late or too early or giggling or making any of the other sounds accompanied with enjoying each other. I think my libido was stunted simply by knowing other people were around and could hear. We can now enjoy tickle fights, afternoon delights, middle-of-the-night encounters (which we had only done once in our previous years of marriage due to my worrying about neighbors) and even just talking in bed before falling asleep. It's amazing! I love having time to him and not worrying about others hearing our conversations or anything else.

I hope that some of you that are still sharing walls and ceilings will eventually be able to enjoy the freedom of having your own place.

What improvements have you noticed recently to your love life?


10 Signs of a Fake Gentleman

  1. 1. He always knows exactly what to say
     – Some people, male and female alike, simply have a knack for words. While being suspicious of someone based solely on the fact that they’re articulate isn’t usually a good idea, when his lines seem so perfect that they almost sound rehearsed, there’s a good chance that they probably are.
  2. 2. He’s never ruffled or agitated – Even the most confident man will be a bit nervous in the presence of a woman he’s interested in. When a guy never seems flustered or anxious, never makes an awkward move and always maintains a cool-as-a-cucumber exterior, it’s a red flag that he’s not really feeling those tremor-inducing butterflies.....

Head over HERE for 10 Signs of a Fake Gentleman.

Have you ever been fooled by a guy? How long did it take you to catch on?


How to do a Sexy Lap Dance

Celebrate the holiday by making a few fireworks of your own and putting on a show for your man!
Lap dance tips:

  • Use a chair that has a higher back and no arms
  • Tell him he can't touch you while you are dancing. Make sure you tell him before hand because he will probably try at least a few times which could throw off your groove.
  • Tell him that you might reposition him and that when you do it he should obey so it doesn't sow you down
  • Have confidence and look him in the eye.
  • If you can't look at his eyes, look at his forehead between his eyes
  • Mix things up. Stand close to him or on the chair, then back away or walk around. Keep him guessing.

You can go here to subscribe and watch actual videos of the moves. Just go to Lessons and then Lap Dances. There are also instructional videos for pole dancing. Wow! Now, that's a workout!

Make your lap dance even better by getting a little special something to wear (Up to 80% off!)

Remember to keep it fun and be confident!

Here are some moves to get you going:

Walk around drag: Walk around behind him and lightly drag your hand up his arm, around his neck, and back down his other arm.

Kiss Miss: Psych your guy out so he thinks you are going to kiss him. Kneel with your right knee between his legs and place your right arm around his neck. Place your left knee on his right thigh. Most of your weight will be on the chair. Use his neck for leverage and lean back and slowly come in, scooping forward as if to kiss him but glide right past his ear. Kiss or bite his ear or whisper something if you want to.

Leg show: place a foot between his knees. Slowly caress your leg with both hands starting up at the top of your thigh going all the way down to your foot.
Grind: Sit either with your back to him or your front to him. Maintain eye contact if your front is to him. Grind backwards and forwards or in circles while you’re sitting on his lap.

Stand up: Place right foot between his legs and stand up, placing your left foot on his right thigh. With your left hand jerk his head down, gyrate your hips, push his head back and step down.

The Melt: Sit with your weight on him and your cheeks touching. Slowly slide down his body, like you are melting to the floor. Keep your right foot on the ground and fold your left leg so you are kneeling on it. Then when you get to the ground you will be able to crawl away easier
Chest Press: Crawl up to him and place a hand on each thigh. Slowly press and drag your chest up his knees and lower thighs.

Zipper Shock: reach down and grab his jeans zipper between your teeth. Jerk your head back several times and try to lower his zipper some.

If any of you know of some other moves or of good instructional videos, send them my way or post in the comments!


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