Masturbation can be a great tool in boosting your desire and enjoyment during sex. As our guest post mentioned, it has greatly enhanced her desire and intimacy with her husband. We've featured a couple other posts about masturbation as well and some of the readers comments on these have been wonderful. If you're struggling with a low libido or struggling to orgasm, masturbation is one tool you could possibly use.
32% of our readers that have participated in our poll on the sidebar either said "Ewww! You said the M word" or "I wouldn't know how".
Masturbation can occur in a variety of settings. You can masturbate alone or take part in what's referred to in the therapy field as "mutual masturbation". This means that you can direct your partner to do what feels comfortable to you either by word or by moving his hand or you can both masturbate together, but separately.
I firmly believe that every woman should be aware of her anatomy as a starting point. If you were the kind of girl to never look at that page in your health book of anatomy and grew squeamish at the thought of sex ed, then you really, really need to check out the link above. Please know about your clitoris and where it is. Did you know there are more nerve endings on a clitoris than a penis? Woman: An Intimate Geography is a great book to become familiar with your body and instill in you some pride about being a woman.
Once you have the understanding of your anatomy, learn about the sexual response cycle and how it typically works for a female. Some parts may feel uncomfortable or weird. It's normal to lubricate, it's normal to feel tense, some women even feel like they are about to pee. Just know the stages and don't freak out about your body's natural reaction. The SRC is a very natural part of life.
If you're going to try masturbating, you can include your partner or do it on your own. Whatever you choose, just make sure you feel comfortable and relaxed. You can use a vibrator if you'd like or you could also use your partner and/or yourself for stimulation. Some say that a vibrator is the best way to go at first while others argue that it's way too powerful and difficult to not have that control. Just go with what feels best to you. You may want lubricant nearby if you don't lubricate well. You could also try just going over your underwear and not touching directly. There's no right or wrong way.
Your mind is a very powerful tool so use it! Often women are more psychologically aroused by romance and other kind gestures, but women can also be aroused by things they see or fantasize about as well. Use whatever works for you in the moment.
- Allow yourself to relax and unwind.
- Be in a place that is peaceful to you. Some have suggested a bath or shower or bed.
- Be in a comfortable position. Many women suggest lying on their stomach or on their back.
- Use your mind, let go and fantasize a bit. Fantasies can include your husband- it doesn't have to be some elaborate fetish or situation. Wherever your mind brings you. Just let it in and go with it.
- Add a little variety to your sex life throughout the day to keep it on your mind.
- Here's another list of ideas to add variety and spice things up.
- Allow yourself to see what feels best to you. Guide your partner. Be direct with him. Try sensate focus over a period of a couple days or weeks.
- Figure out what gets you in the mood. If you're watching a movie or reading a book and feel a bit turned on, hold on to that feeling. What did you like about it?
- Babeland sells some "Best of Erotica" Books to get you in the mood that readers have raved about. For Yourself : The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality is another book one of our readers suggested.
If you need are in dire need of some direct instruction and how-to, a reader left some tips on a previous post in a comment that she got from another Christian Marriage Site.
What tips would you share for those wanting to try it out?